


Normality

by AvalonBell



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), dan and phil
Genre: M/M, Oneshot Phanfic, Phan - Freeform, Phan College AU, Phandom - Freeform, Phanfiction, phanfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-28
Updated: 2016-05-28
Packaged: 2018-07-10 19:50:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7004101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AvalonBell/pseuds/AvalonBell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>College AU where Dan has gotten into the routine of a “normal” life. One day he’s left on his own in the dormitory and left to think about his freshman year, and how much fun it was and who he was having fun with. But… The person wasn’t normal, and a normal life is the only thing that can be accepted, so what is Dan to do?</p>
<p>Based on this prompt: “How could he find himself if he was fading into the world around him? Normality seemed to be more of a sin than a blessing. Or reworded: Normality became a sin when you started fading into everything around you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Normality

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted a fic, I’ve been working on a new chaptered story so I’ve been a little distracted(look forward to that in a few months btw). Anyways, sorry this story is so short and it isn’t my best writing, but I really hope you like it either way. Enjoy!

“Normalness leads to sadness?” Dan’s voice is high pitched and he looks across the table at the boy he’d known since the beginning of the year in uni. **  
**

“Yeah! I mean, being normal is just _**boring**_ and makes you sad.” The boy across from me, Phil, exclaims. A giant smile on his face even though Dan noticed the desperation peeking into the blue eyes of the older boy.

This boy was so… _**not**_ normal and Dan didn’t quite understand how he got into hanging out with him every day whenever they had free time. Dan came here to get a hold of himself, and sure, he might have been considered pretty weird if you asked anyone in high school, but university was a chance for redemption. To find the crowd that isn’t the kids standing in the corner blasting music into their ears.

Buuut, the boy with the jet black hair, blue eyes, pale skin, and nearly the exact opposite of normal just had to be assigned as his dorm mate. He ignored him the first few weeks but then Dan couldn’t just _**not**_ talk to someone who was into literally everything he was into.

It’s now the end of freshman year, just a few weeks until summer break. Dan and Phil are sat in a Starbucks chatting away about their summer plans, a majority of them consisting of being with the other. Dan ignored the fact that trying to live a normal life was his plan originally and it was sort of… postponed. That is, until recently. That’s why when Dan told Phil he was thinking about rooming with another guy who he’d hang out with a lot and was just some normal dude with a life he could handle, Phil replied that normalness led to sadness.

Dan shrugs at Phil’s explanation, playing around with his straw. “I dunno, Phil. Maybe I should just try hanging out with him and his— _**our**_ friends this summer and we’ll figure out rooming later?”

Phil’s smile fades as he seems to realize that Dan wasn’t joking. “Oh,” His gaze falls onto the table and Dan can’t tell if he’s angry or sad; or maybe he was both. “I, um— alright, then.”

He stands up, grabbing his drink. “I should probably go. I need to… pack.” Before Dan could even protest, Phil leaves the cafe.

~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s now been a semester since then, and Dan is stuck in his dorm. His new dorm mate went out into town to get some drinks for the group who were meant to come over in a few hours. Dan hasn’t talked to Phil since then, give or take a few nods to one another if they saw each other in the halls. It **_really_** didn’t help that he and Phil were on the same floor.

“Normalness leads to sadness…” Dan mumbles, leaning back on his chair and strumming his fingers on his desk. He closes his eyes and tries to get lost in the music.

_You and I were_

_You and I were fire_

_Fireworks,_

_That went off too soon_

_“Normalness leads to sadness.”_

_“Being normal is just **boring** and makes you sad.”_

That wasn’t Dan’s or the singers voice. Phil should not be invading his thoughts.

Everything is fine. Dan is normal now and he is anything but sad, that’s just how it is.

An hour later…

Anothy still hasn’t come back

Two hours…

Still not home

It’s three hours when Dan can no longer even try to drown out such abnormal thoughts by music and he decides to just go out and take a walk to try and clear his mind about such unnecessary things.  He grabs his wallet and phone from the desk and slips it into his pocket. Dan opens the door slowly for a reason unknown to him. Probably because he didn’t want to be seen just going out in the middle of the day by himself.

_Back to the street_

_Down to our feet_

_Losing the feeling,_

_Of feeling **unique**_

_Do you know what I mean?_

_“No.”_ Dan thinks to the song almost bitterly, walking down the pavement. His shadow more visible than himself.

People passed him that he knew. He smiled over at them and they didn’t seem to return the mute greeting. In fact, no one was looking at him and it was as if he just blended in with everyone else. It was fine, Dan figured blending in is what he wanted most in the first place. If Phil were here, Dan imagined they would be laughing all the way down the street. Phil would go on about how his whole YouTube channel thing really isn’t that weird and it’s actually a lot of fun. Dan would reply with some kind of sarcastic remark and Phil would only emit a soft laugh under his breath and lace his fingers in Dan’s.

Oh, did he mention the two would normally hold hands, hug, and cuddle? Yeah, that happened. But, it was something Dan’s family made sure he knew wasn’t even in the slightest bit normal. They’ve made it clear to him that Dan clearly wouldn’t be accepted in society if he was ever caught even staring at a guy in anyway that should be reserved for girls only.

But, Dan loved the way Phil’s hand just fit so well with his; and how his head buried into Phil’s chest just felt so right. He just _**loved**_ the thought of feeling Phil’s warmth and seeing his smile… hearing his laugh… All of it was just so—

“Ow,” Dan mumbles lightly as he flicks the rubber band on his arm. He’s had it around his wrist since he moved out of the dorm with Phil and flicked it whenever he thought of Phil or anything he considered was his view of abnormal. Nearly Dan’s entire wrist was red and in pain.

_“Stop thinking about that!”_ He yells at himself. _“It’s **not** normal. Phil is done for. You don’t miss anything about that life. You’re normal now, and that’s a good thing.”_

He agrees with himself in the end after flicking the rubber band about eight or nine more times. This life was good for him. His friends would talk to him when they wanted to and they made him overall feel accepted. People never looked at him like they did in freshman year. Dan ignored the void in his stomach whenever he thought this because he figured he just needed to get used to being in the background and blending into society. That’s how life was meant to be, after all. It wasn’t supposed to be the way it was with Phil. Waking up everyday cramped in the small bed with the older boys arm around him; it wasn’t normal. It wasn’t normal to go into Starbucks, singing away any song that popped into their heads, order the same drink each time, and then chat the morning away about YouTube, Tumblr; just the internet in general. All of it just **_wasn’t normal_**. And, the worst part that made Dan’s brain scream was the fact that right now he wanted it all back. He wanted to feel the large smile that just wouldn’t leave his face, or the feeling of true acceptance even if it wasn’t in a normal atmosphere. But, overall, he would admit it. Dan just missed _**Phil**_. His blue eyes that were always glowing, his pale skin that Dan first thought was cold but had the privilege to learn he was so very wrong. He missed Phil’s smile that could light up the entire room and overall every little thing about Phil, Dan wanted back.

“Shit,” Dan runs into someone, sending both him and the other person to the floor. He ignored the pain in his bum and groans under his breath. “Sorry, mate.” He stands up and opens his eyes, stretching out his arm to pick up the person he ran into to notice it was Phil.

This world works in such _**weird**_ ways.

“Dan, still clumsy as ever, I see.” Phil’s voice is tight as he accepts the brunette’s hand and pulls himself up. There was a stiff smile on his lips and Dan hated that it replaced the shining one he was so used to seeing.

_Snap_. Once.

His eyes were heavy, and Dan couldn’t see an ounce of happiness glowing from the ocean; he really didn’t like it.

_Snap_. Twice. His wrist was beginning to burn again.

“Yeah, always am,” Dan replies with a laugh that appeared fake.

_Snap_. Three times. Only this time, he snapped himself to bring him back into reality. It wasn’t about being normal. It was about being happy, and faking a laugh that he wanted to be so genuine was not going to get him anywhere. Blending into the background wouldn’t get him anywhere, either. Dan was tired of trying to be normal, tired of listening to his parents on the matter, and tired of his hand automatically flicking the rubber band as if expecting him to make a mistake.

Dan removes the rubber band from his wrist and drops it nonchalantly on the floor before speaking again. He shoots Phil a genuine smile. “Phil, I’m an idiot,” Dan states simply.

Phil crosses his arm and lets out a quick laugh. “Well, yeah, I knew that. Care to specify about what, though?” His tone is now playful and Dan could see the bright smile slowly being painted onto Phil’s face.

Dan rolls his eyes playfully. He then looks at the ground. “You were right…” He trails off, staring at the rubber band on the ground, and then allowing a devious grin pull at his lips. “Normalness leads to sadness. And, I am so _**so**_ tired of being sad.”

Phil’s smile grows and there it all is. The ocean began glowing again right before him and it was hard to not just get lost in them until Dan feels arms wrap around him and he’s finally reunited with a warmth that he’s yearned to feel again. It was a hug from the sun, and Dan decided to return it.

Yes, Dan’s life was going to be anything but normal. But, so long as he spent these late nights and early morning Starbucks routines with Phil, Dan was completely fine with that.

Normalness leads to sadness. And, so it was then that Dan vowed to never be normal.


End file.
